The Difference a Year Makes... A New Season

Last March, Andrew and I began a different kind of season in our marriage. I almost used the word difficult, but in retrospect, although it was difficult at times, that’s not what stands out the most. It was one of those seasons that changes us for the better even if we can’t see it at the time. It was a season of growth.

 

Early last year Andrew was asked to manage a job for his company which would require him to be gone out of town for the majority of the time. He would get to come home on most weekends, for which I was so grateful, and we knew it would last up to a year. { I want to stop here with a quick disclaimer: I realize that there are couples and families who are separated for longer than this and don’t have opportunities to even spend weekends together. I know that our situation could have been much harder. This post is simply about our specific situation and what we learned from it.}

I went through a period of denial at first as I didn’t want to think about spending most of our second year of marriage apart. But then there was the fact that a camper was parked in our driveway and the next thing I knew we were putting sheets on the bed and adding picture frames here and there to try and make it as home-y for him as we could. It was no longer possible to ignore the fact that he was really going.

I processed it the best way I knew how but that first Monday morning getting ready for work after he left around 3 a.m. was hard. I was just going through the motions and wishing the day away. I wish I could say that I handled it really well, but in reality I had myself a big ‘ol pity party. I tried to keep the perspective that it could be much worse, but honestly it just stunk. It was just one of things that at the time I didn’t understand how anything good could come from it and I didn’t think it was fair that we were having to put our marriage on hold for his job. You can say I was just a little spoiled and self-centered. But then, the weekends starting coming around quicker than I realized and we spent incredible quality time together and didn’t waste a precious second. And the weeks turned in to months and we got into a routine that worked for us.  

Although I still missed him terribly, I learned how to make the most of my time. I got involved in a girl’s bible study group, joined a mentorship program at our church, ramped up my quiet devotional time – which were all opportunities for spiritual growth that I could have done, but probably wouldn’t have had as much time for if Andrew had been home in the evenings. I also hadn’t expected how much we would grow together during this time. Yes, I knew that we would survive it – but growth? I had only thought of what would have to sacrifice, not what we would gain. But God has an awesome way of using the tougher parts of our lives to shape and mold us. We grew as a couple because we depended on each other and knew no one else understood what we were going through. We prayed together on Sunday nights and we trusted God to protect us. We prayed for physical safety as well as the health of our marriage. We prayed for God to use us where he had placed us and trusted that it was for a reason.

Well, it’s been a little over a year since that first early morning good-bye. We are settling into a new routine with Andrew able to be home most of the time now. We look back and can’t believe how much we have grown this past year. A lot has changed but a lot has stayed the same too. We are so thankful for an ordinary night together – of coming home and just cooking dinner or sitting on the back porch and getting to have face-to-face conversations about our day. We are now getting to see how God was working all along. How he was shaping both of us individually and teaching us to depend on him in preparation for what would come. It is amazing how God works. He can use everything for his good. We have been praying about how God would use us – use our marriage for his kingdom.  And just as always, God’s timing is perfect. We have just been offered an awesome ministry opportunity that I will write more about later. I can’t wait to share how God orchestrated it in his perfect plan. 

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”  Romans 8:28

This time last year I could not have imagined where we would be right now. I am so thankful that God was able to take my self-pity and turn it into something good. To take my loneliness and turn it into spiritual growth. To take my fears and give me peace in its place. It is a continual process and I still struggle with these, but God uses the past to remind me of what He can do. I’m so thankful that he doesn’t give up on me. I am excited to see where God takes us and how he uses us in this next season! 

Two Years.

On Monday Andrew & I celebrated two years. Two years. How is that even possible? Just yesterday I was walking down the aisle of our church with the cutest boy waiting at the altar. Just yesterday we were dancing to Frank Sinatra in his parent’s front yard surrounded by our family and friends. But two years worth of memories bridge the gap between then and now and convince me that here we are. Two years later. 

As I was just reminiscing on how absolutely wonderful our wedding day was, the thought hit me that if someone was to offer me the chance to go back to that day, my answer would always be no. Because as wonderful as that day was, today is even better. Today – with all of its messiness and chaos that is life – is so much sweeter because of the days in between that have shaped us. The days that were hard and we woke up a little less giddy than on that first morning. The days that broke us down and forced us to rely on each other. The days that we learned what made each other tick – and the days we learned how to love in each others language. 

Every time we were forced to sit down and have the hard conversation, to say the hard words, to extend forgiveness, to choose love. Every prayer that we uttered, every inside joke we shared, every time we danced in the kitchen. I am a much better person – we are a much better couple – than we even could have imagined that night as we swayed and twirled in our fancy clothes and our shiny new rings. We couldn’t have known that it was possible for our hearts to expand in such ways, to love deeper. For our hearts to actually feel like one and the same.

Andrew's love has taught me more about Christ's love in two years than I could have learned in a lifetime. He loves me when I am not lovable and extends grace when I definitely don't deserve it.

He is my biggest supporter, my most loyal friend, my forever dancing partner. I cannot wait to see what the next few years bring because I can't imagine loving him any more than I do now. My heart is full.

                                       

We were actually worried that we wouldn't get to spend our anniversary together because Andrew is working out of town most nights of the week right now. At the last minute he got to come home, but had to get up super early Tuesday morning to drive back to work. We are thankful for such small blessings.

Since we were on vacation last year we didn't eat our wedding cake so we dug it out of the freezer and tried to eat it - it was awful. You aren't missing anything if you have never tasted a 2 year old cake.

 

Happy anniversary to my sweet sweet husband!

And thanks to Courtney Fallin at www.courtneyfallinphotography.net for the use of these pictures and for doing such a fabulous job! The pictures were taken on our property where we plan to build a house next year so they are special to us. :-)

Another Young wedding

We had such a wonderful weekend in Fort Worth celebrating Andrew's brother's wedding! I also had a birthday last week and we celebrated when we met up with his parents on Friday. We had a wonderful lunch at Mi Cocina in downtown Fort Worth and then it was off to get ready for the rehearsal.

The rehearsal and wedding ceremony were at The First United Methodist Church, a beautiful chapel in the heart of downtown.

This is Andrew's youngest brother and his girlfriend Baylie in the pictures with us, not the ones that got married. I just realized we didn't get a picture with the bride and groom at the rehearsal but they were busy visiting with everyone. 

The rehearsal dinner was at the Reata downtown and then afterwards a cocktail party on the rooftop where we could watch the fireworks. I did a terrible job of taking pictures after we left the church. 

Finally a picture of the bride and groom!

The ceremony was beautiful and was followed by a reception at the Fort Worth Museum of Science and History. 

There were different flavored cakes on each table and you could go around and taste different ones. And even take some home!

We had so much fun dancing! The whole wedding party danced to "Footloose" and then it just went downhill from there.. Ha 

It was such a wonderful weekend and we were so glad to be a part of it! Best wishes to the happy couple!

{photo credit to my mother-in-law, Lori Young for some of these photos}

Andrew turns 28!

Yesterday was Andrew's birthday and we were so thankful to be able to spend the day together. Lately, his work has been taking him out of town for more days of the week than he is home. Which stinks, but we are making it, one week at a time. We have learned so much and our marriage has grown stronger over these past few months. We know that God is teaching us something during this time and we are trying hard to see the lesson instead of having a pity party for ourselves. So we are thankful for days like yesterday :)

Andrew got his birthday present about a month or so ago when we went in our local golf store to "price" a new set of golf clubs. There was a deal we couldn't pass up and we both agreed to go ahead and get them then. So, as a reminder of his birthday present (I was afraid he would forget:-), I got him a golf themed cake (note the golf clubs on the back of the golf cart). I didn't realize that I had started a theme - last year he got Saints tickets and a Saints cake and this year, golf clubs and a golf cake. Andrew pointed this out to me last night. We will see how long we can keep that one going.

Andrew's mom has a family dinner/celebration planned for later this weekend so we decided to celebrate last night with a couple of our close friends. We went to a new Italian restaurant in town that we have been wanting to try-- it was fabulous! We especially loved the atmosphere on the outdoor patio/courtyard complete with a large hanging chandelier, faux grass wall, and large running fountain. The weather was perfect last night too. The food was wonderful but our appetizer was my favorite (picture below) - I guess I was too busy eating by the time our main course arrived to take a picture but it was all good.

Andrew & Kyle have been friends for a really long time and I love their friendship. Aren't they the cutest? Me and Heather are thankful that they brought us together. Look forward to celebrating many more occasions with them in years to come!