This past New Years’ Eve I was rocking Camille and saying our nightly prayers and I vividly
remember praying for God to prepare my heart for what the next year held. I
didn’t even know what that meant at the time or why I was asking God to prepare
my heart, but I sensed a gentle nudge of the Holy Spirit and so I continued to
pray that God would reveal himself to me in new ways and that we as a family
would be willing to follow Him wherever He led us. I remember even feeling a
little unsettled as I prayed those prayers because I knew God must be up to
something. I am not one to like change or welcome change in any form. But
during those first months of 2018 it was as if God placed those prayers on my
heart over and over again.
Before I go on with this story I need to stop and share a little
background of what this season of life has looked like for us.
About a year after we were married Andrew and I began to
dream about building our home and so we bought a piece of land and begin to
design what we often referred to as our “forever home”. I sat down at
our kitchen table one day and begin to draw out plans on a piece of paper. It
was very much a rough draft, but with the help of my dad and an architect it
quickly became our actual house plans. The building process for us went very
smoothly and we were so thankful to move into our home in November 2015 when I
was about four months pregnant with our daughter Camille. Four months after
moving in, our area experienced record breaking rainfall and widespread
flooding. We watched helplessly as many of our neighbors’ and friends’ houses
succumbed to the flood waters entering their homes. It was heartbreaking to
watch but still so encouraging to see so many people come together to help
their neighbors. We are forever grateful for everyone who showed up to help
pack sandbags and pump water away from our house during all hours of the day
and night, with the water eventually stopping inches from our doorstep. After
surviving the flood and then bringing our first child home the following month,
we were emotionally attached to our house and said often that we could never
imagine moving or living anywhere else. The flood had taught us a lot though
and we also knew not to hold too tightly to any earthly possession. We knew
what truly matters are the people that make the house “home”, and of course,
following God wherever he leads. Although I will admit I selfishly prayed that
we would get to live in our house forever and enjoy watching our children grow
up in the same house where we brought them home as babies.
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I have been working as an Occupational Therapist in our local
school system since 2013. I love my job and it has been the perfect fit for our
family. I’ve always been able to view my job as a way to encourage the
children and families I work with, and the schedule has allowed me time to spend
at home as well. After Camille was born, I struggled
with returning to work and assuming the role as a working mother. I
specifically remember the night before going back to work when Camille was only
a few months old. I knew that financially there was no option for me to stay
home at the time but I poured my heart and my desires out before the Lord that
night. He gave me such peace about going back to work and I knew that he would
help me make it through the tough days ahead. Still, I was completely open with
him and said that if there was any way possible that my heart’s desire was to
be able to stay home by the time we had a second child. It was too heavy for me
to carry that around so I left that there with him that night. I remember
getting in bed that night and telling Andrew about the conversation I had just
had with God about all of this. He was thankful I had peace about going back to
work but he actually laughed at me and the request I had made to God. I knew it
was a little silly myself because I could not imagine a way we would ever be
able to afford for me to stay home. But still it was heavy on my heart and I
felt better leaving it with God. It doesn’t mean I never struggled with it again, but God has always been faithful to give me strength on the hardest
days.
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Andrew has been working with his family at their electrical
contracting company since he was old enough to work (and maybe even before ha).
He very much enjoys and is good at what he does. His work schedule is flexible
and besides a few projects before Camille was born, he has been able to be home
with us most every night. Around the same time this year that I began praying
for God to prepare my heart for what this year might hold, Andrew also began
praying that he would be open to where God was leading our family. He prayed
specifically for God to expand his territory and his capacity for sharing the
gospel. I don’t think we even realized each other was praying for these things
yet but nonetheless God was preparing both of us in our own ways. I admire my
husband for many reasons but have been so incredibly thankful for his spiritual
leadership in our family as well as in our church. He serves our family well
and also has an incredible gift for teaching and leading. Any time I have
stepped out of my comfort zone and have done things that ultimately resulted in
my own spiritual growth was because he was behind me encouraging me all the
way.
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One day this past May, Andrew was sitting at his desk at work
when he got a phone call from a hiring company in Ohio asking if he was
interested in an electrical sales position opening in Houston, Texas. Someone
had given them his name and information and felt he would be a good fit for
this position with this particular company. Andrew had a few connections with
this company due to already being in the field, but had not reached out to
anyone about this position. I remember him telling me about it and that this was
a very well-known manufacturing company in the electrical industry, but the
details are a little blurry to me, mostly because I didn’t take it very seriously.
I just thought it was one of those random hiring companies calling a long list
of people they had found on an online database. When he talked about it being
in Houston I tuned out even further thinking there was no way we would move for
a job. Besides, he already had a job and I had already prayed that we would
stay in our house and live happily ever after. I am being completely honest
here but I was not thinking very spiritually at this point. Andrew decided he
would follow up with them as requested but that we would pray for God to just
close this door if it wasn’t from him and wasn’t something he was leading us
to.
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Around this same time the girls in our lifegroup were praying
about what Bible study we would do for our next study for the summer. For the
past several years we have tried to have girls bible studies pretty regularly
and we have seen so much growth and so many things God has done come from this
time together with this group of amazing women. A group of us had just planned
and attended an If:Gathering simulcast at our church and we were super
encouraged by Christine Caine and her message during this year’s conference.
Someone mentioned that she had a new book coming out and everyone seemed to
agree on it almost immediately. The title of the study? Unexpected. I didn’t realize how impactful this book would be
during the coming months as we faced some really hard and unexpected decisions.
Looking back it was exactly what I needed at the time.
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Well instead of doors closing as I had secretly hoped, the
doors just kept opening – one right after the other. One phone interview led to
another phone interview until eventually Andrew was invited to an in-person
interview in Houston around the middle of June. My prayers turned into pleads
for God to prepare my heart or close the doors. We also thought there was a
possibility that if they were to want to hire Andrew that he would be able to
travel back and forth to Houston a night or two during the week and work from
home the rest of the time. So I went with him to Houston and continued to pray
during his two hour interview. I saved a prayer from that day and it brings
back all the emotions of that day for me.
This continued to be my prayer over the next few weeks as we waited to hear back after his interview. His interview had gone well but we also knew that they had interviewed several others so it definitely could go either way. He had found out that day at the interview that the job would require him to relocate to the Houston area. We placed it into God’s hands and decided to make a specific request to God as to how we would know if this was where he was leading us.“God I pray that the way would be made crystal clear in moving forward. I trust that you have already worked on our behalf and have provided all that we will need for today and for the days to come. I know that you would not lead us anywhere where you have not already provided so I just rest in that. I praise you God because you are good no matter how this turns out and what the future looks like. You are a good Father and you hold us in the palm of your hand. I thank you that you see the best in us even when we don’t see that in ourselves.”
There is a story in the Bible in the book of Judges about a
man named Gideon and God’s call on his life to save his people Israel. Israel
had once again turned from God to worship the false gods of the people around
them. Because of this they had been oppressed by the people of Midian for seven
years. They cried out to God for help and He sent an angel to Gideon to tell
about his plan to save his people and how that would involve Gideon. I
appreciate Gideon’s honesty here and his need for God to visibly confirm his
promises to rescue them. I can relate to this desire for God to tangibly show
him evidence of His promise. He asks God for several signs – which God does – but
as the Midianites approach for battle and Gideon sees the large army before Him
He asks again for another sign.
“Gideon said to God, ‘If you will save Israel by my hand as you have promised – look, I will place a wool fleece on the threshing floor. If there is dew only on the fleece and all the ground is dry, then I will know that you will save Israel by my hand, as you said.” And that is what happened. Gideon rose early the next day; he squeezed the fleece and wrung out the dew – a bowlful of water.” Judges 6:36-38
Although we weren’t facing a visible army before us, Andrew
and I felt this same urgency for God to show us if this was in fact where he
was leading us. We just asked that if this was his plan, that Andrew would get
the job and we would just know and have a peace about moving to Houston. And if
he didn’t get the job we would take that as our sign to stay. It was no longer
our decision to make, it was in God’s hands.
[Please don’t confuse this asking for a sign as if we were
“testing” God – the Bible specifically says that we are not to put our Lord to
the test. This type of unacceptable “testing” God is birthed from doubt which
demands that God prove himself to us as a way of determining whether or not He
can be trusted. In asking for a “sign” we were asking out of our faith in who
God is and asking him to reveal more of himself to us. Faith, by definition,
takes risk. When true faith is present, obedience follows. It is that
faith-inspired action of obedience that God desires.]
I continued to pray for God to prepare my heart or close the
door. I know I keep saying this but this was the prayer that was on replay in my
heart. Thoughts of possibly having to leave our home, our church, our family,
and our friends consumed me and sometimes all I could do was just whisper that
prayer over and over.
As I mentioned earlier, I was also reading Christine Caine’s
book Unexpected during this time. God used this book to answer my prayer. Without a
doubt he used this book to prepare my heart for what he had in store. A week
after his interview I looked at Andrew one night and told him that I knew he
was going to get the job, that God was calling us to Houston. I don’t think Andrew
was convinced at that point, but I felt in my heart that God was preparing me. He
used these words by Christine Caine to speak courage right into my soul –
“It is a place of freedom where we let go of what we once wanted in exchange for what we never expected – a new adventure. But we can’t get there by ourselves. Only God can catch and carry us into the new life we never imagined and take us to places we never considered going.”
“God always prepares us for the place he has prepared for us…. We all have wilderness seasons in our lives, times when everything that feels familiar, stable and comforting falls away. But that’s exactly why the wilderness is a place of transformation. With nothing to distract us from ourselves, and with no one but God to rely on, the conditions ripe for growth and change.”
“God knew the end from the beginning, but I did not. God knew he was preparing me, but I did not. God knew all the unexpected moments were leading somewhere. I just trusted him and took steps, and he has never wasted one step. ‘The Lord directs the steps of the godly,’ writes the psalmist. ‘He delights in every detail of their lives’ (Psalm 37:23).”
“When Jesus poses his unexpected question to us, we have a choice to make. We can focus on our limitations and problems, or embrace the miraculous possibility he offers us. We can run away saying a loud no, or run forward proclaiming a loud yes… I knew there would be more freedom waiting for me on the other side. I knew that my healing wasn’t just about me – that there were people to reach beyond myself. So I said yes.”
So by the time we got the phone call in July telling us that they had chosen Andrew for the job, I was not surprised. Neither was I surprised when I realized
that this job was going to allow me to be able stay at home with Camille. I
will admit that I was a little
surprised a few weeks later when we found out we were expecting our second
child. God was already in the business of answering the prayers I had poured
out before him during some of my most vulnerable days. He was just answering
them in completely unexpected ways.
Since we got that phone call in July offering Andrew the job
and made the decision to say “yes” to God in this, things have not necessarily
been easy. But God has been so faithful and has continued to confirm this over
and over again for us. Every time I have begun to doubt his plan and our
decision to move to Texas he has sent me another reminder of his faithfulness
and little glimpses of what he has for us there.
We appreciate your thoughts and prayers during this time of
transition for our family. We believe that we aren’t just moving to Houston for
a new job for Andrew. There are specific reasons that God is leading us there and we trust that He will reveal that to us in time.
"This is what the Lord says - your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel: 'I am the Lord your God, who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go.'" Isaiah 48:17
“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not
be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you
wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9
